I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
