U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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