A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
