how can u be prego again
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
