"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
