he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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