forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
