i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
