Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
