Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
