We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize