If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
