I bet he comes in French.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
operation harelip BJ is a go
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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