If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
