Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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