We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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