Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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