The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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