i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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