Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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