We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
