Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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