she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
