I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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