My friends, they love my intelligence
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
