perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
