ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
