The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
