I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
