were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
40s are totally the cure
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
