I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
