You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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