Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
