are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The uberlube is also flammable
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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