Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
