Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
