gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
