The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
