OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
