Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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