im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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