no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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