i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
