i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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