well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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