just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
