Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
