how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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