i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize