took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
