I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
