Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
