So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
