This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Randomize
