Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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