My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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