Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
