Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
