Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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