I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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