Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
be right there i have to get my cape
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
