...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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