think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize