The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
