I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What drink are we having for lunch?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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